How to advertise your moustache
by Skyflapple
Summary: Fred and George Weasley decide to advertise their latest product: the Out-To-Lunch Fake Moustache!


**This is my entry for the Finals Round 2 of Season 4 of the QLFC. I play keeper for the Caerphilly Catapults and my prompt this round was to write a story about the Out-To-Lunch Fake Moustache!**

* * *

"Hey, Fred, George!"

The Weasley twins stopped in their tracks and turned to see their best friend, Lee Jordan, sprinting down the corridor towards them.

"Hi there Lee, how can we help you?" They replied, in unison.

"I've had an... idea as to how you can... market your latest… product!" Lee gasped out between pants as he grasped George's shoulder for support whilst he recovered his breath. The twins looked at each other, before Fred answered, "Sure! Meet us in the dormitory tonight after dinner and you can tell us your idea!"

"So, Lee, what do you have in mind?" George asked as he picked up their latest product, the Out-To-Lunch Fake Moustache, from his bed.

Lee, who was perched on the edge of his four-poster, leaned forwards and replied, "Well, because the moustache makes you speak in a ridiculously stereotypical posh accent, I was thinking that you two could wear one each for a whole day and assume new names to advertise the product! It'll annoy the professors to no end, and Umbridge would hate it, and it would be hilarious, not to mention brilliant publicity! So, what do you think?" He paused and looked questioningly at Fred, and then George, tilting his head to the side.

The twins hesitated, and then Fred said, "I think… it's sounds like a brilliant idea! What about you, George?"

The other twin smiled and responded, " Yeah, let's do it! I can be… hmmm… Gregory!"

"Yes! And I'll be Frederick for the day! Lee, you are a genius!"

"Tomorrow, we will not be Fred and George Weasley. We will be Frederick and Gregory Weasley of Ottery St Catchpole!"

* * *

The next day dawned bright and clear, and the Weasley twins woke up early. They each reached over to their bedside tables and grabbed their Out-To-Lunch Fake Moustaches. They attached the fine black handlebar moustaches to their upper lips before getting dressed into their uniforms. Once they were ready they met by the heater in the middle of the room.

"Why, good morning Gregory!" Fred said in the most stereotypically posh British accent, extending his right arm.

"Why, indeed it is Frederick! It's an absolutely spiffing day!" George replied in an equally posh accent, taking his brother's hand and shaking it with vigour. "I say, shall we away to breakfast?"

"Why of course, good fellow. Let us go!" Fred answered, before taking George's arm and setting off down the spiral stairs to the common room.

* * *

To say the pair received some odd looks on their way to the Great Hall would be an understatement as students tried to hide their amusement and confusion as to the twins' antics. They soon realised that it was the Weasley twins they were talking about and surmised that it must be some sort of joke, so nobody brought it up.

It wasn't until they reached their first lesson of the day, Transfiguration, that they encountered any resistance.

"Mr and Mr Weasley? What on Earth do you have on your faces?" Professor McGonagall asked as they entered the classroom.

Fred looked at her and informed her, with a straight face, "Well, Minerva, my darling. My honourable brother Gregory Weasley of Ottery St Catchpole and I are sporting rather fetching Out-To-Lunch Fake Moustaches - our latest product!" George nodded to emphasise his point.

Professor McGonagall sighed inwardly, before replying, "Well Mr Weasley, I would like to inform you that, whilst I cannot prevent you from wearing your moustaches, I would strongly recommend that you do not let Headmistress Umbridge catch you wearing them."

"Why thank you for the advice, good lady!"

"Alright. Go and take your seats. And it's Professor McGonagall you!"

"As you wish, M'lady!"

The Transfiguration professor shook her hand as the twins strode away towards their seats, arm in arm.

* * *

The day continued in a similar fashion for the Weasley twins. They would arrive at each lesson, the professor would usually question them as to 'What exactly do you two idiots think you are doing?', to put it the way Snape did, before giving in and letting them continue so as to see how it played out.

Later that day, the two young men were merrily strolling down the Charms corridor when they heard a relatively loud whisper, "Quick, Umbridge is coming!"

They immediately dived behind a suit of armour to avoid the short headmistress who was clad almost entirely in pink. Unfortunately, the giggling of the other students in the vicinity were a giveaway to Umbridge that something was off.

"Mr and Mr Weasley, would you by any chance happen to be hiding behind that pillar?" She called in a sickly sweet tone. Unable to resist the challenge George emerged, followed shortly by his brother. Umbridge, not expecting the moustaches, was surprised to say the least. Confusion flickered across her face and her mouth fell open in the most spectacular expression of shock. The Weasley twins burst out laughing.

"Misters Weasley!" Umbridge exclaimed, "Might I ask what, exactly, do you two have attached to your upper lips?"

"Well, professor, my dear, my brother Frederick and I are demonstrating an invention of ours." George answered.

"Oh you are, are you?" Came the response.

"Indeed, and we thought what better a way to show it off than to wear it all day?" Fred confirmed.

Umbridge, who did not see the funny side of this at all, remarked, "Well, I suggest that you remove the offending items at once!"

"Ah, you see, Professor, I am afraid that we cannot do that. It would defeat the purpose of our whole demonstration!"

"Is that so? Well then, I will simply have to give you both a detention. My office. Seven O'Clock this evening."

"Why, my brother and I would be delighted to abide!"

Umbridge sniffed loudly, before flouncing off down the corridor. The twins set off in the other direction, uncaring about their detention because they had decided that it was worth it for the chance to annoy their new headmistress at every opportunity. And that was just the way they liked it.


End file.
